“I’m brushing my lips across the back of your neck while stroking your-” The phone a friend session wasn’t going as Ed had expected.
Ed’s rendition of Gangster Paradise to the crowds of Maidstone really fired up the campaign
Ed was struggling to find the pineapples
Ed was glad that he had taken out the restraining order
Ed heats things up in a Sauna
In preparation for Margaret Thatcher’s funeral Ed had begun practising grief and sincerity
When Ed stated that he wanted to clean up politics, he had to start somewhere.
The media scrabble for room around Ed.
Ed was scared of entering the damp water tunnel,
Ed knew things were bad when he took advice from the Just-Eat advert guy
The tablets Ed has been taking has made him passive aggressive towards strangers.
His staff want Ed to be more dynamic and noticeable, so they are giving him a quiff.
“I don’t care if your the Chancellor, you need a first class ticket” - Ed’s part time ticket inspector job paid off as he bumped into George Osborne on a train.
Ed got a really good deal on 4,500x i <3 LDN t-shirts, apparently there is something wrong with them